The Reason Why I Cut My Hair

I’m fast approaching the anniversary of my haircut date.

I don’t normally cut my hair on the same day each year, but when I’m confronted with certain situations and decisions to make, I give the idea of letting my crown down some thought.

My last haircut was in May 2014, I let go as a sign of self reaching a milestone (by age);
I let go so I could redirect my thoughts to my academics more than my surroundings;
I let go so I could learn to be content with myself in my most natural state;
I let go so I could save some money!

I look back and I’m happy with the decision I made. In fact, I want to do it again!

I have done more than let go of my hair the past year; I let go of some people in my life so I could find my standpoint.

I let go of some comfortable spaces and surroundings in the name of achieving my short term goals and learning to live again.

But I also let go of me…

Yes, I let myself go too far and lost my way in the process.
I let my thoughts wonder with me and found myself living in my own world.
I let go of my spirit and found myself complacement with just about everything.
I let go of things I held dear to my heart, some of which I still yearn for.
I’ve made sacrifices but calculated their opportunity cost…

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I don’t believe a hairstyle directs my life, but I do believe that I go in the direction of the things I set my mind on.
It is for this reason that I have decided to keep my hair, and make a decision to learn to keep some fundamental principles that I learned and unlearned in the course of life.

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Here’s a Lesson- guard your heart…

A lot of the time, we women go into relationships as individuals and come out not remembering who were before we met our “partners”…

We can call it; “losing yourself”.

Compromising your feelings so you can be attentive to someone else’s,
Compromising your strongest beliefs so you can be accommodating of values other than those you grew up believing,

We call it being “open-minded”, for who wants to be seen as narrow-minded?

But after pouring our hearts out to someone who was once just a stranger,
The pain of being without them suddenly hurts as much as losing someone in your family.

She said to me that she doesn’t understand anymore what guarding your heart means.
Do you get into a relationship with one foot outside the door and one eye open?

But that would suggest zero trust and no confidence in the new relationship.
So why get into it in the first place?

I thought about this and concluded that guarding your heart means taking time to make the right decision as to who you plan to give your heart to.

Can you trust him?
Or do you have to confirm his whereabouts…

Does he speak well of his mom and sisters?
Cos if he doesn’t then he’ll be speaking ill of you.

Does he ignore phone calls?
Cos if he does, your call will be next in line for ignoring…

Are his intentions clear?
Cos if they aren’t, prepare to date indefinitely…

Guarding your heart means that not every guy is worth your time,
Not every guy is a potential husband,
Not every guy can hold your hand,
Not every guy can take you out for dinner,
Not every guy is worth your number,
Not every guy is a Christian,
Not every guy has good intentions,
Not every guy sees a wife in you.

So guard your heart, don’t allow anyone to come into your life just because they seem okay.

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A Lady’s Prayer

Father help me to stay strong and stand strong,
Help me to fulfill my purpose and not die before time,
Help me to trust you and never doubt you,
Help me to remain true to you and everything right value that I uphold,
Help me to be the best I can be and to never compromise on my being,
Help me to stay humble without compromising my voice in speaking out the things that should be said…

One-Woman-Typa-man

I feel strongly about monogamy, allow me to share this post from one of my good sisters…

stagganot

One-woman-typa-man

I remember once monwhen I was around 15, I was in the kitchen with my mom, doing the dishes whilst she was busy cooking. We were talking about weddings and especially how she is looking forward to mine. In the middle of the conversation, my mom turned to me and said: My son, I want you to be happy in this life and not make mistakes. You can find the right woman without having to go through a million of them. Value yourself, don’t sell yourself cheap. At the right time, and in the right way you’ll find the right one. These words sank and spoke volumes to me then and have guided how I came to be about (of cause they weren’t in English but Tsonga). Throughout the years, I’ve also come to learn a few things that have helped me in my journey to become a one…

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The ‘New’ Side Chick: I Was Her

I found this to be true and relevant, so I found it necessary to reblog. Enjoy the read.

Miss T. N. king

A side chick is commonly known as a mistress or a woman that’s romantically involved with a man who is in a committed relationship.  However after doing some reflecting, I realize that’s not the only type of side chick.  I want to discuss “the new side chick”–a woman who decides to stay by a man’s side after he has expressed his lack of relationship intentions with her through his words or actions.  So many women have made this mistake at least once in their lifetime, and unfortunately I’ve done the same thing.

I like to think of the new side chick as an appetizer.  You’re there just to satisfy the immediate appetite of the man, but as soon as that mouth-watering entrée comes out to the table, you will get pushed to the side, literally.  Why?  Because that entrée is what he really wanted; he went to the restaurant to…

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How I found Love

I found love three years ago, held on to it even though it never felt quite right.
Love was tall, dark and handsome. Attractive to the eye and mind boggling to the mind.
Love picked my brain and made me think. Made me question some things, but taught me to stand up for what I believed in.
I didn’t trust love, so I kept love at a distance and observed its behavior.
Love was far from me, oceans apart and I wanted to spare myself the emotional attachment.
I kept love close through social networks and it ended up closer than the person seated next to me.
Love was patient, love was kind.
Love would check on me, love would understand me.
Love would take my opinions amidst the presence off stubbornness.
Love was affectionate, love was considerate. I liked love and even though I had promised myself not to fall in love with love, I did.
I fell In love with who love was, and ignored love’s faults and errs.
I grew fond of love and looked past my doubts and insecurities.
Love made me question God’s will, love made me plead for love
Love made me believe that it might be the one.
You see love respected me, love treated me well, love listened to me and love showed me love.
But it couldn’t have all been rosy, because love would upset me and take me for granted,
Love’s eyes would wander and blame it on nature,
Love would hide things and call it protecting,
Love would disrespect my God and call it culture,
And still, I loved love.
I gave love a chance, over and over again.
Love’s words would hurt me and make me wonder about the future.
It would make me wonder where I stood with it.
Love would return home, and I would be there…
Patiently waiting and feeling quite anxious about all the changes that the passage of time would bring, love would still be the same.
Love would smile at me and embrace me.
Love would make me feel safe and it’s warmth would erase any fault that ever existed.
Love was warm, love felt good.
Love genuinely loved me and displayed it more than it said it.
I could deal with that!
But I yearned to have love closer to me,
I yearned to be a part of Love’s life.
I showed love my love,
I’d check on love and try my best to show it I cared.
I told love how something’s made me feel,
I told love how something’s hurt me,
But love never cared and called me emotional.
Love never wanted to see where I was coming from.
Love made things about it and never stopped to think that I was only upset because I loved it.
I would love to say love was no more,
But the love never stopped.
The communication did.
For the first time in forever, I didn’t know how to live without love.
Every second thought was about love.
Flashbacks would seize me and I didn’t know how to make it stop.
A week would seem an hour, time was just not moving.
How do I unlove love?
True Love taught me to stand on my knees before I could make it on my feet.
True Love kept me sane and helped me through the coming months.
True Love taught me to depend on it and far lesson people.
A few month’s later and I don’t know how I made it through.
God’s love is real and far perfect than that which we get from fellow human beings.
I’m wiser now and waiting on a love that will replicate that which God has for me.
Thank God for His love.IMG_0171.JPG

A collection of Quotes

“Don’t spectate, participate. Otherwise you’ll criticize.”
Ps Motloung

“Remember The Lord your God…”
Deuteronomy 8:18

“At first we form our our habits and then it is our habits that form us”
Vusi Thembekwayo

“Masters is the new honours”
Lindo Mnyandu

“Light has no value in the absence of darkness”
E. Ndeda

“I’m through dreaming about what I could be walking in”
TD Jakes